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Horror(ible) Christmas Movies
Dec. 28th, 2020 12:54 pmIn my continuation of watching horror movies this year, I did pivot to Christmas horror movies for the holiday. There is definitely a lack of really good Christmas-themed horror movies. And calling some of these Christmas movies is definitely a generous term, many of them just happen to take place at Christmas but really could've been staged at anytime of the year without any real changes. There are a few I've missed though I might still go back and watch, or at least try to watch. For now, here's a little round-up of what I did watch, with a bonus mention at the end for Christmasy but not at all horror.
Black Christmas (1974) - They consider this like the first modern day slasher movie, I guess. And I can't help but think it's somewhat inspired by the actual college slayings of Ed Kemper who killed sorority girls. This cast is pretty interesting: Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey, Andrea Martin, John Saxton. The movie takes place around the Christmas holiday, where the girls of the sorority girls are getting drunk, having parties some of which getting ready for Christmas leave, or in the case of Margot's character "Barb", getting very very drunk (some of which I strongly suspect was a bit of 'method' on her part). In a way that other moves sometimes don't though, they actually get the police involved in what's happening and very early in the story, and they actually take everything seriously.
Black Christmas (2019) - What they say is that this movie is a 'remake' of the original. And in so much as there's a killer on campus, hitting the sorority girls still at the university through Christmas break and they're harassed, stalked and killed in their own home… sure, there's some similarities here. But the nature of the slayings and the reason behind them is very different. Instead of just a bad guy, there's a group of them and a hint of the supernatural at their core. I did like this one, for what it's worth, but I'd almost recommend watching them in the reverse order, so you don't expect the same thing out of the 'remake'.
Santa Jaws - A bad movie night watch party choice to keep with the spirit of the season. This was amazing. Better production quality than most movies on our 'bad movie' watch party nights. It also lives up to its title. There is a shark, it eats people, it's Christmasy (the shark and the movie). The story centers around a teenage boy and his family on Christmas, and this mysterious shark that shows up in a Santa hat, attracted to Christmas things and seemingly determined to kill the kid's family. Honestly, it's just a surprisingly decent movie for all the wackiness about it. If you have any affinity for bad SyFy movies, you should watch this.
Dead End - Suffers from the late 90s, early 00s mentality, the high school aged brother in this is just all kinds of awful. The movie itself though is a really interesting one. A family is on their way to Christmas dinner at the wife's mother's house. The mom, dad, daughter and her boyfriend, and the high school aged son, are all in the car on a long stretch of road headed to grandmother's house. The father has taken the long way, avoiding the interstate because he wanted a less boring drive to help him stay awake. Of course they nearly drive into another car and all of them are suddenly very awake. From there, the trip becomes very surreal as they taken in a woman in white who is carrying a small child, and realize that they don't know where they're going or how to get back off the road their on. I'd never heard of this before and while their are some faults in how the son talks, or how the family deals with what's happening, overall the story is fascinating.
Slay Belles - This is a goofy, fun and ridiculous movie. It's better done than I expected it to be, though some of the effects are poor. It's about these three women, two of whom make videos for the internet about random places they visit (while in appropriate costume). The two YouTubers are dragging their third friend along to this long abandoned Santa Land park. What they don't know until they arrive is that there's been a rash of attacks in the area (written off as bear attacks). During their trek through Santa Land, they come across some strange creature, and are rescued by the park's "Santa" still living in the park.
Better Watch Out - It's Christmas Eve and a babysitter who's about to move out of town goes to babysit her favorite charge. The boy she's watching (12) has a crush on her and plans to make a move sometime during the night. The night turns dark when it seems like someone has broken into the house and the babysitter tries to keep the boy safe. What seems like a break-in turns dark when she finds out who is behind the break-in and what's really going on. This is really well done, surprisingly dark, and not at all what it seems. Fun trivia: two of the kids (the babysitter and the kids best friend) in this movie are the two siblings in a horror movie from 2015 called The Visit, about their trip to their grandparents house.
Nasty Piece of Work - This is technically a horror movie that takes place at Christmas, although you could really take or leave the Christmas part of the equation. Two guys vying for promotions from the same boss are invited after the yearly Christmas party (where it's announced there will be no bonuses this year) to their boss's house. They attend, with their wives to meet the boss and discuss the promotion, though neither of them are really expecting the other. The night very quickly descends into chaos. I don't know if there's a horror sub-genre for 'rich people make the characters due horrible things' but this would definitely fit there.
Creepshow: Holiday Special (2020) - This is the first offering of the new Creepshow revival on Shudder and I'll admit up front I wasn't really impressed. The story revolves around a man who shows up to a support group for shapeshifters, having just recently realized he's responsible for a recent rash of killings in the area. The group discusses the different types of shifters there are, each of them being different (and a joke inserted regarding furries - YMMV on that). An attack interrupts the group and it's revealed that Santa is out to kill the shifters. Chaos obviously ensues. This "movie" did not hold my attention, I found myself drifting off near the end. But, if you're interested in the incredibly absurd, this might be for you.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow - This isn't technically a Christmas movie, but it is a winter movie and it takes place in a small ski town in Utah. Not exactly meant to be a parody but does at times come off in such a way with it's baked in humor. The story of a string of attacks in a town named Snow Hollow, the Sheriff's son is poorly dealing with being in the limelight of this huge case and the pressure of his father's health issues that have him taking a backseat. It's a surprisingly good werewolf movie, good creature silhouette, interesting premise and tie-in w/alcoholism + anger issues. Done in a David Fincher-eque manner, purposefully but with a bit more light-hearted flair.
Last Christmas - This isn't a bad movie, nor is it horror, but it doesn't leave you with a happy lovely feeling at the end. I feel like it deserves at least an honorable mention here. What's sold as a romance, with Emelia Clarke and Henry Golding, is about a woman whose life is just really shitty after a near brush with death requiring her to have a heart transplant. She's an elf in a Christmas store run by Michelle Yeoh (who is wonderful). It heavily relies on the music of George Michael and for that reason I will wholeheartedly recommend it. I liked it overall, but boy, it's a rough watch near the end. So go in with some tissues, please.
Black Christmas (1974) - They consider this like the first modern day slasher movie, I guess. And I can't help but think it's somewhat inspired by the actual college slayings of Ed Kemper who killed sorority girls. This cast is pretty interesting: Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey, Andrea Martin, John Saxton. The movie takes place around the Christmas holiday, where the girls of the sorority girls are getting drunk, having parties some of which getting ready for Christmas leave, or in the case of Margot's character "Barb", getting very very drunk (some of which I strongly suspect was a bit of 'method' on her part). In a way that other moves sometimes don't though, they actually get the police involved in what's happening and very early in the story, and they actually take everything seriously.
Black Christmas (2019) - What they say is that this movie is a 'remake' of the original. And in so much as there's a killer on campus, hitting the sorority girls still at the university through Christmas break and they're harassed, stalked and killed in their own home… sure, there's some similarities here. But the nature of the slayings and the reason behind them is very different. Instead of just a bad guy, there's a group of them and a hint of the supernatural at their core. I did like this one, for what it's worth, but I'd almost recommend watching them in the reverse order, so you don't expect the same thing out of the 'remake'.
Santa Jaws - A bad movie night watch party choice to keep with the spirit of the season. This was amazing. Better production quality than most movies on our 'bad movie' watch party nights. It also lives up to its title. There is a shark, it eats people, it's Christmasy (the shark and the movie). The story centers around a teenage boy and his family on Christmas, and this mysterious shark that shows up in a Santa hat, attracted to Christmas things and seemingly determined to kill the kid's family. Honestly, it's just a surprisingly decent movie for all the wackiness about it. If you have any affinity for bad SyFy movies, you should watch this.
Dead End - Suffers from the late 90s, early 00s mentality, the high school aged brother in this is just all kinds of awful. The movie itself though is a really interesting one. A family is on their way to Christmas dinner at the wife's mother's house. The mom, dad, daughter and her boyfriend, and the high school aged son, are all in the car on a long stretch of road headed to grandmother's house. The father has taken the long way, avoiding the interstate because he wanted a less boring drive to help him stay awake. Of course they nearly drive into another car and all of them are suddenly very awake. From there, the trip becomes very surreal as they taken in a woman in white who is carrying a small child, and realize that they don't know where they're going or how to get back off the road their on. I'd never heard of this before and while their are some faults in how the son talks, or how the family deals with what's happening, overall the story is fascinating.
Slay Belles - This is a goofy, fun and ridiculous movie. It's better done than I expected it to be, though some of the effects are poor. It's about these three women, two of whom make videos for the internet about random places they visit (while in appropriate costume). The two YouTubers are dragging their third friend along to this long abandoned Santa Land park. What they don't know until they arrive is that there's been a rash of attacks in the area (written off as bear attacks). During their trek through Santa Land, they come across some strange creature, and are rescued by the park's "Santa" still living in the park.
Better Watch Out - It's Christmas Eve and a babysitter who's about to move out of town goes to babysit her favorite charge. The boy she's watching (12) has a crush on her and plans to make a move sometime during the night. The night turns dark when it seems like someone has broken into the house and the babysitter tries to keep the boy safe. What seems like a break-in turns dark when she finds out who is behind the break-in and what's really going on. This is really well done, surprisingly dark, and not at all what it seems. Fun trivia: two of the kids (the babysitter and the kids best friend) in this movie are the two siblings in a horror movie from 2015 called The Visit, about their trip to their grandparents house.
Nasty Piece of Work - This is technically a horror movie that takes place at Christmas, although you could really take or leave the Christmas part of the equation. Two guys vying for promotions from the same boss are invited after the yearly Christmas party (where it's announced there will be no bonuses this year) to their boss's house. They attend, with their wives to meet the boss and discuss the promotion, though neither of them are really expecting the other. The night very quickly descends into chaos. I don't know if there's a horror sub-genre for 'rich people make the characters due horrible things' but this would definitely fit there.
Creepshow: Holiday Special (2020) - This is the first offering of the new Creepshow revival on Shudder and I'll admit up front I wasn't really impressed. The story revolves around a man who shows up to a support group for shapeshifters, having just recently realized he's responsible for a recent rash of killings in the area. The group discusses the different types of shifters there are, each of them being different (and a joke inserted regarding furries - YMMV on that). An attack interrupts the group and it's revealed that Santa is out to kill the shifters. Chaos obviously ensues. This "movie" did not hold my attention, I found myself drifting off near the end. But, if you're interested in the incredibly absurd, this might be for you.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow - This isn't technically a Christmas movie, but it is a winter movie and it takes place in a small ski town in Utah. Not exactly meant to be a parody but does at times come off in such a way with it's baked in humor. The story of a string of attacks in a town named Snow Hollow, the Sheriff's son is poorly dealing with being in the limelight of this huge case and the pressure of his father's health issues that have him taking a backseat. It's a surprisingly good werewolf movie, good creature silhouette, interesting premise and tie-in w/alcoholism + anger issues. Done in a David Fincher-eque manner, purposefully but with a bit more light-hearted flair.
Last Christmas - This isn't a bad movie, nor is it horror, but it doesn't leave you with a happy lovely feeling at the end. I feel like it deserves at least an honorable mention here. What's sold as a romance, with Emelia Clarke and Henry Golding, is about a woman whose life is just really shitty after a near brush with death requiring her to have a heart transplant. She's an elf in a Christmas store run by Michelle Yeoh (who is wonderful). It heavily relies on the music of George Michael and for that reason I will wholeheartedly recommend it. I liked it overall, but boy, it's a rough watch near the end. So go in with some tissues, please.
