Writing and Work
Feb. 16th, 2021 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
singedsunI turned in my 10 pages for my Futurescapes critique workshop in March and emailed it out to my small critique group. For Futurescapes they break everyone down into 7 student groups with a single teacher and then you have three blocks, 1 for a critique session on the manuscript sample you've provided (what I sent tonight) and then the second and third blocks that weekend are for queries and synopses (which you provide the day of and I definitely have not done yet). There are two more classes coming up in February, a mystery class and a horror class and I'm definitely looking forward to both of those. I had high hopes of spending the time until the workshop in March finishing up my rough draft but that was before *~everything~* that happened in my family and at work and it's just not going to happen. Not to say I won't give it that good old college try, but we'll see what I feel like after the horror class with DongWon Song, in which I definitely feeling some imposter syndrome about. And my critique Author/instructor is a middlegrade horror writer, which is NOT my thing (middlegrade that is) but I'm hoping the horror knowledge translates well anyway????
Work is -- you know after everything, they did something this week that finally broke me free of the anxiety I have about everyday from here until the day my team is gone. They've decided to add four new contractors. So replacing my four person team with eight contractors. What like we're busy? And then they asked if I might be able to take the work from one of our current FTEs instead of training a contractor to do it because they hadn't considered all the contract issues with sending that secure information to India. Oh you didn't... think...? That doesn't seem like a me problem. Also, no, I'm not taking more work and I dare you to actually ask me (this was info passed down from my manager, which she was in no way saying I had to do). She and I both know it's a ridiculous ask. There were a few other little things that boiled over and it definitely feels like the upper management folks know they've made a mistake and aren't yet willing to admit to it. Throwing more contractors at it definitely isn't going to fix the job though. It's a mess but I no longer feel stressed about it. Come March 31st when my coworkers leave, and April 1st rolls around and things are messed up? I will be guilt-free in walking away. And I don't think my manager will be far behind. I already have saved down the name and number for both the HR director and VP and will be taking the matter to them before I leave.
My problem now really is just having enough time in the day. Daily work is a problem, I'm not getting enough done or feeling productive on top of training and other activities. So my brain is overloaded by night time during the week and I just want to crash on the couch for several hours at a time. I started relocating all my knitting and craft supplies into my office over the weekend so I can maybe try and do a few things every day that might feel a little like creative progress, even if it's not the writing I want to be doing.
Ooh, the good news about work though is that I finally got my year end bonus and it was good. Reflective of the work I did in 2020 (which was too much) and I've been dipping into it to buy myself some nice things. I think I'm going to splurge a little more -- I've been eyeing the mystery boxes from Universal Standard, which feels like a fun treat.
I also was passed this 7 day self-love journaling challenge from one of my writing communities and my friends and I decided we're going to do it together. Should be good. The link is here if that sounds like something you'd be interested in too. There's also lots of good affirmations at that post too, so it's worth reading through even if you don't want to do the challenge.
Work is -- you know after everything, they did something this week that finally broke me free of the anxiety I have about everyday from here until the day my team is gone. They've decided to add four new contractors. So replacing my four person team with eight contractors. What like we're busy? And then they asked if I might be able to take the work from one of our current FTEs instead of training a contractor to do it because they hadn't considered all the contract issues with sending that secure information to India. Oh you didn't... think...? That doesn't seem like a me problem. Also, no, I'm not taking more work and I dare you to actually ask me (this was info passed down from my manager, which she was in no way saying I had to do). She and I both know it's a ridiculous ask. There were a few other little things that boiled over and it definitely feels like the upper management folks know they've made a mistake and aren't yet willing to admit to it. Throwing more contractors at it definitely isn't going to fix the job though. It's a mess but I no longer feel stressed about it. Come March 31st when my coworkers leave, and April 1st rolls around and things are messed up? I will be guilt-free in walking away. And I don't think my manager will be far behind. I already have saved down the name and number for both the HR director and VP and will be taking the matter to them before I leave.
My problem now really is just having enough time in the day. Daily work is a problem, I'm not getting enough done or feeling productive on top of training and other activities. So my brain is overloaded by night time during the week and I just want to crash on the couch for several hours at a time. I started relocating all my knitting and craft supplies into my office over the weekend so I can maybe try and do a few things every day that might feel a little like creative progress, even if it's not the writing I want to be doing.
Ooh, the good news about work though is that I finally got my year end bonus and it was good. Reflective of the work I did in 2020 (which was too much) and I've been dipping into it to buy myself some nice things. I think I'm going to splurge a little more -- I've been eyeing the mystery boxes from Universal Standard, which feels like a fun treat.
I also was passed this 7 day self-love journaling challenge from one of my writing communities and my friends and I decided we're going to do it together. Should be good. The link is here if that sounds like something you'd be interested in too. There's also lots of good affirmations at that post too, so it's worth reading through even if you don't want to do the challenge.
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Date: 2021-02-16 08:09 am (UTC)I hope you enjoy the classes!
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Date: 2021-02-17 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-18 12:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-18 08:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-02-21 03:21 am (UTC)