A few more answers to Goes Wrong Show questions I've received on Tumblr!


Anonymous: In the CCGW intermission, we get a glimpse of Robert’s CV—apparently, in Romeo and Juliet he played both Romeo and Juliet at the same time, while Chris was listed as the director (later usurped). Do you have any thoughts or ideas about the story behind that?

Robert playing both Romeo and Juliet in the same production is one of my favourite details from Robert's CV; it's such a Robert thing to do. I love him. He should play every part in every play.

I'm actually working on a fic about the dual-Roberts Romeo and Juliet right now [I received this question while I was writing Adaptability], but the concept there is 'there are literally two Roberts', which seems unlikely to be the canonical way it played out! It might instead have been something like this:

- Chris casts himself as Romeo.
- Robert uses every tool at his disposal - complaining, attempting to ensure none of the society's actresses will be available on the night, arguing that casting two men as the lovers will show the progressiveness of the drama society - to get himself cast as Juliet.
- Perfect; Robert is now Juliet! He's in a lead role! He's satisfied.
- ...
- Is he satisfied?
- Now that he sits down and counts, Romeo does have slightly more lines than Juliet. There's a difference of seventy-five lines! That's almost fourteen percent of Juliet's lines! Surely Robert should be playing Romeo?
- Robert attempts to persuade Chris to switch roles. Chris, incredulous, refuses.
- Robert continues to complain. Chris threatens to take Juliet away from him.
- Fine. Robert will have to take matters into his own hands. If he drugs Chris before the performance, just a little innocuous drugging, he can step into the role of Romeo, where he belongs.
- One small downside: nobody else has rehearsed the role of Juliet, so Robert is going to have to play her as well.
- Actually, that's not a downside at all. This is going to be the greatest performance of Romeo and Juliet ever seen.

There is one detail from Robert's CV that this concept doesn't account for: he lists the venue for his Romeo and Juliet production as 'France?', question mark and all. How does Robert end up putting on this play while uncertain of what country he's in? Unless he accidentally drugs himself slightly in the process of knocking Chris out, and then Chris regains consciousness before the play and, furious, chases Robert onto the Eurostar.


Anonymous: Who would be the worst member of Cornley for Robert to be bodyswapped with? I am imagining shenanigans galore for every possibility!!!

I feel Sandra is simultaneously the worst and the best option!

Robert rather enjoys being in Sandra’s body. Does a lot of strutting and posing, comments that he can see why Sandra’s such a fan of it.

Sandra hates being Robert, right up until she realises that, if she’s in someone else’s body, she can have sex with herself. Robert takes up the suggestion with great enthusiasm. They make very little effort to hide what they’re up to from the rest of the society, who are deeply unhappy about this.


Anonymous: do you think robert would enjoy being a vampire?

Robert Grove would have a great time hamming it up as a vampire. He’d wear a cape. He’d hiss. He’d insist on the Cornley Drama Society putting on more vampire-centric plays, largely because he’s now the obvious choice to play vampiric characters.

There is not a chance Robert is nobly going to abstain from drinking human blood. He would attack strangers if he had to, but he’s a coward who wants to avoid serious physical conflict, so he’d try to persuade people to let him drink their blood voluntarily.

This works out fine at first; Sandra is happy to be a sexy vampiric victim! But then Sandra decides she’d prefer to be a sexy vampire, and Robert immediately agrees to turn her. After all, if they’re going to be putting on more vampire plays, it’ll be good to have someone who can play female vampires as well.

So now there are two vampires in the Cornley Drama Society, and Robert’s main source of blood is no longer an option.

Max and Annie agree to let Sandra feed from them: Max a little nervously, and Annie with surprising enthusiasm. Vanessa, very nervously, lets Robert feed from her; she’d really prefer not to have her blood drunk, but she’s worried about Robert not having enough sustenance and she doesn’t entirely know how to say no. Chris, having repeatedly insisted there’s not a chance that Robert will get any of his blood, eventually gives in because he’s worried about Vanessa and wants to ease the burden on her. (This leads to a very confusing sexual awakening for Chris, naturally.)


Also, hey, while I'm posting things from Tumblr, here's a video I took of the hopeful little meerkat I mentioned in this post! If you turn the sound on, you can hear the meerkat's tiny curious chirps and my charmed laughter.